Why I Don’t Practice Law (collection of tweets)

During my CLE this year, I decided to keep track of the reasons that I don’t practice law on Twitter. I hope you enjoy. Comment any favorites, or make any contributions.

  • because after nearly 15 hrs of cle in the last 32 hrs i am contemplating poking sharp objects into my eyeballs
  • because mediation is for wussies
  • because my idea of trial prep is 45 minutes of perry mason followed by 30 minutes of matlock
  • because they call me ‘the yapper’ and the whole “brief” thing never worked to well for me
  • because i happen to like “the blog things”
  • because being disciplined by the board actually sounds intriguing
  • because i cannot call myself a ‘minister of justice’ without winking and shooting my air gun
  • because I say “compliance” with the same disdain as other “c” words
  • because “having relations” with clients is “just a bad idea”
  • because failure to communicate is severely punished
  • because being incompetent is severely punished in the legal profession
  • because “mandatory withdrawal” has never worked too well for us.
  • because to me “draft” usually involves a pint glass, and I prefer boiler maker to boiler plate
  • because equitable apportionment adversely affects the pre-residuary assets of the testator and that just sucks
  • because when I say the word ‘testator’ I usually giggle (just a little bit on the inside) that is a prob. when talking @ death.
  • because ‘pro bono publico’ (for the good of the public) means I am working for free. runs counter to ‘profit motivated.’
  • because “fiduciaries” is said with the same enthusiasm at 4 pm as it was at 8 am
  • because I really should be an exaggerated litigator but I want to be a dealmaker…I am a businessman so i can be both. 😉
  • because “forthwith” or “heretofore” is not a word that I am comfortable using
  • because “details, schmetails.”
  • because I cannot stand to put sound effects into my presentations…no offense Justice Lee
  • because in my business, if I want to cuss at an adversary, I won’t be held in contempt
  • inviting any non-practicing lawyers to share pithy comments on why they don’t practice use
  • because being disbarred is an event that happens at 3 am and does not have any effect on my income
  • because “balancing test” should be reserved for the gymnasium and not the court room
  • because “bending the rules” is spoken like it’s a bad thing
  • because 15 hours per year is enough discussion of “fact patterns” and “holdings”
  • because email is still called “the email” among lawyers
  • because 8 am is too early to say the word “fiduciary” with enthusiasm.

Jeremy Floyd

Jeremy Floyd is the President at FUNYL Commerce. Formerly, he was the CEO and President of Lirio, Bluegill Creative, a marketing and communications firm in Knoxville, Tennessee. In addition to managing the digital strategies, Floyd was an adjunct professor for the University of Tennessee Chattanooga MBA program teaching digital strategies and social media. Floyd blogs at jeremyfloyd.com and tweets under the name @jfloyd. Jeremy is licensed to practice law in the State of Tennessee and holds a law degree from the University of Tennessee College of Law and a Bachelor of Arts degree from MTSU in English and Philosophy.

  • These were cracking me up all day yesterday. Awesome!

  • Lew

    Now I know why I encouraged you to get a law degree Jeremy. So you could rebell against the profession and discourage all the other wantabe lawyers. Anyhow having a law degree can certainly give you the godlike syndrome that many in the profession possess. So when you have contact with real lawyers they cannot tower over you. 🙂

  • wife

    “because i cannot call myself a ‘minister of justice’ without winking and shooting my air gun”

    Funny visual since this is so outside of your norm

  • I like it. Blogging your tweets. Keep this up and the dead blogs really will come back to life.