All Hallow’s Eve: A Rant

Between cops and robbers, super heroes and super villains, and good and evil, the imagination of my youth was filled with the tension between right and wrong. I was raised in a church that fundamentally opposed the festivities of Halloween. It was the celebration of evil that, in theory, involved pentagrams, human sacrifice, and unadulterated evil. The reality, however, is far less exciting. I donned my costume and paraded about the neighborhood accepting bribes in lieu of retribution–trick or treat. And somewhere in the back of my mind I contemplated this act as a foreshadowing of the adult-world to come. In the dark reaches of my mind, I contemplated the true “tricks” that were occurring that night. Those days never came. As I have gotten older, the polarity between good and evil seems more like a crevice than a chasm. Sure, there’s witchcraft and wizardry just like there’s revival and pentecost, but for…

Two Buttons.

Green and red buttons have been on nearly every cell phone that I have ever owned–even the 20 lb. brick in the 90s. I have never quite understood the people who use the green button when they should use the red. “Hello-what-do-you-need-I’m-kind-of-busy” rolls swiftly off their tongue in a hushed voice as if to say ‘you should be thankful that I stopped what I am doing to answer your call but not so important that I am actually going to give you the respect of talking in a normal tone or speed‘ and maybe a little ‘I want you to know that I am busy and have a life, which is the reason that I answered the phone in the first place.’ Spare us all from your bullshit; please use the red button.

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