- Jeremy Floyd - http://www.jeremyfloyd.com -

Thank you.

I received a thank you card from someone today.  I’ve never really been sure what you do in those situations.  The whole process of thanking could go on ad nauseam with one thanking the other for the thank you until the two end up hating each other for so much appreciation.

While it is an exercise in redundancy you do want to know—even if just a little—that the other indeed received your thank you.  You apply all of your wit to a 2 inch by 3 inch card only to never really know if the other received the small token of appreciation, which raises the other question: why so damn small?  If you are really thankful to someone for something, shouldn’t you write a long treatise of your appreciation?  Instead, you are restricted to the ultra-small cousin of condolence, the “Thank You.”  The post office doesn’t care; they charge you the same first class for the small token of appreciation as they do for the gargantuan birthday cards.

Abolition is my stance.  You give me something, and I look you in the eye and say “thanks”—I mean it, you know it, and we’re done.  Someone may say, “oh, but its tradition.”  Indeed, it is traditional for a husband and wife to spend the first months of awkward cohabitation silently writing out their thank you’s from dusk til dawn.  No wonder the divorce rate is so high.  Maybe the husband and wife should just write one letter and mail merge it to all of the gracious gift givers and be done with it.

Thank you, thank you for reading.